The week that was

Greetings all from FJM…here is a breakdown of last weekends winners and chokers

Heath Slocum won something called the McGladery Classic..kudos to Bill Haas who backed up his win at the “everybody good is at the Ryder Cup Viking Classic” last week with a 2nd place spot…biggest choker goes to some guy named Troy Merrit. He was sitting at 11 under going into the fourth round…if he shoots even par, he finishes Tied for 6th and wins $134K…instead Troy goes out and cards a handy little 5 over 75 and finishes tied for 33rd and wins $18K…costing himself $116K…we’ve seen worse but no doubt Troy is wondering why he spent Saturday night locked in his hotel room when he could just as well have been out bagging groupies…

On the European Tour, Martin Kaymer shook the Ryder Cup Champagne out of his hair and took the Dunhill Links Championship…There was no significant choker but some guy named John Parry had the third round lead and managed to shoot even par and finish tied for third and win himself $200K. FJM figures that Mr. Parry realizing that he may never be leading anything ever again found himself some groupies and blew his brains out Saturday night…thus leaving him nice and relaxed as he coasted to a 72 and his best ever pay day..hope he tipped the ladies..though based on the pickings from the Guild of Harlots, he may actually have stayed in the room with a bottle of scotch, the jergens and kleenex

On the Old Guy Exhibition Tour, Mark O’Meara rose from the dead and beat Michael Allen in a play-off…apparently the former Masters and British Open Champ was having some issues off the course…divorce, remarriage, and his dad died so this is a bit of a comeback…well good for Mark…of course his marriage may have hung in there if not for a certain friendship

Old guy Choker of the week was an incomplete…just not much excitement

On the LPGA tour,  some english bird named Katherine Hull won the Navistar Classic. This tournament was an embarrassment to the LPGA…the course was in worse shape than the Hillsdale NY Short Game Center…brown patches on greens, dead rough…I mean it was a joke…it looked like they were playing some $30 buck a loop muni…of course it was Alabama so who knows…coolest feature though is the Golf Channel coverage includes in round interviews with the players…this is the first innovation in golf coverage that is worth a damn that I have seen in awhile…they even had FJM Bump and Run list member Stephanie Sparks working the mike…of course they need to work on the content…nobody cares how the players are feeling, FJM wants the real insight…typical interview should go something like:

Stephanie: Great par back there Sun-Jin

SJ: Arigato

Stephanie: Our viewers are interested, exactly how much sushi eating does go on during the course of an LPGA tour event?

SJ: “Rots”  big smile and wink to our Stephanie

Stephanie: “Looking worried” Thanks SJ, gotta run good luck the rest of the way…back to the tower at 18.

Biggest choker at the Navistar was FJM Bump n Run list member Cristie Kerr who took the 3rd round lead and did nothing with it…she still finished tied for third, but FJM Bump n Runners are expected to put out on Sundays…on the bright side, Ms Kerr is the only Bump n Runner who made any money on the course last weekend…so there…of course since Ms. Kerr is a married manwrangler, she was no doubt un affected by the LPGA’s version of groupies

FJM is fired up for another round of BBDR…saty tuned for updates


About fakejohnnymiller

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